I'll watch over you
by AbbyGibbs
Summary: James rambles about the fact that he doesn't deserve to live after he let Olivia die, but a letter changes that.


**I'll watch over you**

Author: AbbyGibbs

Fandom: James Bond (Craig movies)

Disclaimer: I simply borrowed the characters the time of story. I own nothing. James Bond belongs to Ian Fleming… Albert R. Broccoli, well his daughter now and all the crew who made the James Bond movies a reality.

Genre: Drama

Pairing: James Bond/M Olivia Mansfield.

Rating: T.

Summary: James rambles about the fact that he doesn't deserve to live after he let Olivia die, but a letter changes that.

A/N: This one has been inspired by "A beautiful Lie" by JustAnotherStudy. Don't know what came over me. It simply popped it and I HAD to write it down.

 **I would also like to think, Mr. Daniel Craig, Dame Judi Dench, Naomi Harris and all the rest of the actors involved in the make of the movies for the work that make the outcome movie so good.**

 ** **Thanks to tayryn for the beta work on this one.****

 ** **Feedbacks: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.****

OOOO

Why couldn't I just let go of my pride? That Damn pride? Olivia was right. I'm a

 _sexist, misogynist dinosaur. I always have been. Now, she's gone, and I'm responsible. They tell me it wasn't my fault, but I know it was. I killed M._

 _If she hadn't placed so much fucking faith in me. If she hadn't trusted me so bloody much, she wouldn't be dead, now! And I wouldn't hurt so much. Even if it's all I ever deserved. A man like me, does not deserve to be loved, neither does he deserve to be looked after. What a man like me deserves though is to be killed._

 _All I can do is cause death, and leave a trail of chaos and destruction. I don't deserve to live._

James' trail of thoughts was broken by a knock on the door. He stared at it, and huffed. He did not want to open the door.

"James, open the door. I know you're there." He heard a familiar voice say.

He didn't move. "Go away, Bill."

"I'm not moving an inch from your front door, I'm warning you, James. I've got a letter for you…." Tanner paused for a minute, waiting for a reaction and it came.

"I don't bloody care. Leave it on the floor or take it back with you, or you can even burn it. I don't fucking care." Bond yelled the last part of his sentence.

"I don't think Olivia would appreciate that tone. Or that you don't even want to read the letter she instructed me to deliver to you personally, James."

Bolting off couch, James opened the door to a surprised Tanner.

He hadn't expected the Double-O to have such a reaction. Bond's next move left him dumfounded: James snatched the envelope from his hand, then slammed the door behind him.

James was back on the couch seconds later, and he stared at the letter in his hand.

There was no doubt Olivia had written his name on the envelope, he smiled despite himself, at the familiar scrawl. He half expected her to send him a DVD to look at to deliver him a message, but he appreciated the fact that she had taken the time to write him a letter.

James opened the envelope and removed the two sheets of folded paper. Slowly and carefully, he unfolded them, as if it they were the most precious possession he owned.

He took deep breath before he started to read…

 _007, if you are reading these words, it means something has happened to me. Most likely: I'm dead. I forbid you to take the blame for it, you hear me?_

 _James, you knew as well as I did, this day could come. I had hoped it wouldn't, that I would die peacefully in my sleep, but if you're reading this, life decided one of my enemies should have the upper hand on me…._

 _When you become the head of MI6 you're bound to have a lot of enemies coming after you. I don't blame you, because I know you've done everything humanly possible to save me. You're not a hero Bond, I know you've never consider yourself like that and neither did I. You're just a man who's always done his job, regardless of the consequences; that's why I always chose you above others. You were the best I had, and you'll be the best for Mallory, too. Promise me that, James._

 _Don't beat yourself up for not being able to save me. My time had come, that's all. I've had a full and rich life, something only a few in our profession are given a chance to live. I regret nothing. Except that I never found the courage to tell you that I have fallen in love with you. It's silly isn't it… Me, Olivia Mansfield, seventy-two years old smitten with the greatest womanizer the secret service has ever known._

 _No, that's not true, you weren't a womanizer, Bond, I know that. I know you only slept with all those women to get the job done._

 _You've always been my favourite agent. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you are a bad man, Bond. Not even your inner demons._

 _Your mother would have been proud of you, as well as your father. Even if the world doesn't know it, never forget the most important people in your life knew you. I knew, and I've always known the real man under the mask, and I've always loved what I saw. You've never been anything else than yourself for me. For that, I thank you._

 _I loved you, James more than anything, even more than Nigel. If you've ever loved me promise me to live, and do what you do best. Keep saving the world._

 _I'm watching over you, my dear boy, you'll always be in my heart._

 _Love,_

 _Olivia._

Tears rolled down his face as he finished reading the letter.

"You'll always be in my heart, Olivia, my love. I promise you to live life, and that I'll keep doing what I do best as long as can," he whispered. He leaned his head back against the back of the sofa, and closed his eyes.

"I'll always be with you, James. I promise, my dear boy." His eyes snapped open when he heard her whisper the words.

A smiled spread across his face. She's was physically gone, but she was here with him.

The End.


End file.
